Inspirational Quotes and Passages that were helpful to me during my IVF and our infertility journey.
Scripture is not only the word of God, it is beautiful poetry and literature.
If scripture intimidates you, try reading it for the first time through the eyes of a poet.
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“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
I would pray this over and over as my husband gave me the six daily “stim med” shots in my abdomen. I held a wooden pocket cross in my hand because it was something tangible that represented God’s promise. Although the pain in my bruised stomach was almost unbearable, this scripture gave me the strength I needed to overcome the pain. It is my absolute favorite verse, and is an easy one to remember!
”Don’t let these waves wash away your hope”
“He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children.”
Although I experienced secondary infertility and became barren after giving birth to my son, I found that reading God’s precious promise took away my fear. Hannah, who was barren and grief stricken, went to God and prayed. God listened to her and blessed her with her boy, Samuel. I have recited this verse a thousand times.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
God actually invites us to ask Him for things! He already knows our true thoughts, needs and desires, even without us telling him, and as we pray we’re participating in a relationship with God. Although it can be difficult, He wants us to remember our blessings and be thankful for them, even when we are going through challenges and dark times.
“For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
Before going through IVF, my husband and I had never prayed together before. We started the morning of my first shot. In the beginning, it was awkward so I prayed straight out of a Stormie Omartian book. But I started to get the hang of it and it became more natural. When two or more pray together, God is always present. We found it so comforting to pray together. It brought a deeper intimacy to our marriage and drew us into unity with God and each other. It is still something that we practice today! We make it a point to start off every Monday morning in prayer as a couple.
“And sometimes against all odds, against all logic, we still hope”
“Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, ‘Oh, that You would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let Your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.”
I Chronicles 4:10
This scripture was on my mother in law’s bathroom mirror since my husband and I started dating. I never understood what it meant until I was in the midst of my infertility journey. If we acknowledge God, and that all blessings come from only Him, we are declaring ourselves as followers. By asking God to multiply our territory, it isn’t in reference to actual land but instead it refers to impacting and growing His kingdom – asking him for more responsibility. Reclaim what has been taken from you! God has the power to protect and lead us through our challenges. Let Him know that you are ready for Him to turn your weaknesses into His glory! With that can come spiritual warfare. Ask for a hedge of protection as you are growing your faith.
”We loved you before we knew you, even when there just hope for you- we loved you.”
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5, 6
This is my gestational carrier’s favorite scripture! It is also one of my favorites. My husband and I had to submit ourselves to God, and trust that He knew our hearts desires. This verse was truly one of the most difficult spiritual lessons we faced, but when we were finally able to turn this over to Him, we felt tremendous peace. Remember – it is about His timing, not ours! Submit and trust
“God knows that it doesn’t matter how your children get to your family. It just matters that they get there”
“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
Oh boy! I am a constant worrier. That spirit of fear would creep up on me from time to time, especially after a miscarriage. Fear and worry is not from God! One of the hardest lessons for me to figure out was that by inviting fear into my mind, I am not trusting in the Lord! During moments of fear, I would pray to the Holy Spirit to replace those feelings with that of joy. Sometimes the fear would be such a strong emotion, that I would pray every couple of minutes until it was gone. But the repetition of praying for joy to replace fear worked!
“Those who plant in tears, will harvest shouts of joy.”
How To Pray
Prayer is, simply conversation with God. Some of us choose to pray silently and others pray out loud. If you have never prayed before but are wanting to learn, here are a few tips:
- The Bible does not give us one system or pattern for prayer. I prefer to pray out loud, but my husband prays silently to himself. There is no right or wrong way!
- Be intentional and prioritize a time to pray and reflect each and every day. It doesn’t have to be long, promise! Even if you set aside two minutes in the morning while you are in the shower to pray, you will feel refreshed.
- Prayer is a two-way street! Be still, meditate, and listen. God talks to us in many different ways…
- He might send a message through a human “angel” such as a friend or even a random stranger.
- He might bring a thought into your mind.
- For some, he might be a voice in your head.
- For others, he might show “signs”.
- God can alter circumstances.
- Start your prayer with thanksgiving. For me, it took some practice. I was so depressed and obsessed with becoming pregnant, it was hard for me to focus on anything else. The reason it is important to is because we are acknowledging that our blessings come from Him! He loves to be praised and thanked. Thank Him for the roof over your head, for the blessings of friendships, a job, of family, of little things like no traffic on the way home from work, etc. – the more you practice, you will become more in awe of all of the blessings around you.
- When praying, God loves for us to repeat His words back to us! If you want to just get comfortable praying out loud, start with reading Bible verses that you connect with. If you don’t know where to begin, you can simply google it! For example, you can google “scriptures for infertility” or “scriptures about worry” (or insert whatever emotion you are feeling).
- You can also go to a bookstore and find books on prayer and read verbatim! God doesn’t mind, promise. As you have more practice, you will become more and more comfortable with it.
- This one is BIG – one of the best lessons I have learned is that God speaks in clarity, not confusion. If you are confused about which path to take, it’s the devil! Keep praying until things are clear.
- Be specific as you can in your prayers! Express what is on your heart. Now, I wouldn’t ask the Lord to win the lottery. But things such as finding the right doctor, giving wisdom to your medical team, discernment to you and your partner in which path to take, praying over your body to come in agreement with the Lord and function perfectly. Believe in your healing!
SUPPORT FOR MIND, BODY, SPIRIT
~ To be or go beyond the range or limits of
I believe there are three reasons why I was able to transcend my secondary infertility:
- Believing I was worthy and taking action
- Science and Advances in Medicine
- My faith
MIND: Believing I was worthy and taking action
It was after my 3rd miscarriage that I realized I needed to seek counseling. I was traumatized, depressed and confused and quite frankly. I didn’t like being around myself at times.
I initially went for support but in the counseling something unexpected happened, I started learning about how I felt about myself. I had deep feelings of unworthiness that originated from my adolescence and I was still carrying those around. I had some big failures as a teenager and young adult and well, apparently I never got over them. I still identified myself as somewhat of a failure.
My husband joined me for a few therapy sessions. Despite being a bit reluctant, we were able to address some crucial dynamics in our marriage that we honestly didn’t realize were issues until we got there.
Click above under “For Husbands” to read my husbands letter.
We learned how to communicate with each other, love and support each other during this sad time. Our marriage evolved and we became aligned in a more profound way.
It took a lot of work, but we did it!
If you can’t afford to go to therapy, there are many helpful books and websites available.
Click above on the tab for “websites” and “articles” to see a list of resources that I found helpful during my infertility journey.
After two years of counseling I realized that I no longer needed it. Counseling was very effective, but I became tired of regurgitating the same emotions of sadness, anger and confusion over and over. I was ready to take positive, healthy steps forward.
To truly transcend my circumstances, I had to break down my own barriers and the limitations of how I saw myself. It was with the help of a life coach that I emerged from the drama and negativity. It took some practice but I finally began to recognize how powerful and limitless I was. I’m not saying you have to go out and hire your own life coach. This is a shift in thinking that all of us are capable of.
I started focusing on my “higher self”. I started becoming appreciative of where I was. Appreciation is the recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something. I had a loving husband, a cozy home, a healthy and happy little boy. I lived in a friendly little town and was surrounded with supportive friends. I even began to appreciate little things like getting a front row parking spot at Target, a sweet smile from a neighbor, and a good hot cup of coffee.
Scan your day for joy!
This change put me in a place of perfect allowing and attracting that which is positive. Anytime I felt less than good, I would stop and say to myself “nothing is more important than feeling amazing. I want to find a reason to feel good.” Just the ability to recognize that I didn’t feel positive in that moment was a game changer.
Anytime I felt a negative emotion, I realized I was resisting what I wanted. Negative thinking takes a toll on the wonderful things that we allow ourselves to experience. Much like karma, that which you think – you are putting into the universe, and that is what you will get in return.
Redirect your flight when contrast shows up. Recognize the emotion you feel and then move on. Reach out for uplifting thoughts. I know – it can be scary. You have experienced loss, grief, you might feel depressed. But if you will just let go for a minute and go higher with your thoughts, you will see a change in what you “receive”.
Your sorrow can turn into joy!
My past experiences (my miscarriages) didn’t define me. They didn’t dictate what was to come. I began to whisper to myself that change was coming. I was elevating my mind, my thoughts, so that I could allow positivity. I gave my conscious attention to what I specifically wanted. I told myself that everything was unfolding perfectly, in perfect timing. I let go of the past.
I truly opened my wings and soared. You can too!
Lessons I learned:
- Well-being abounds. Have deliberate, positive thoughts. Reach for JOY.
- Remember that you are worthy! Empower yourself.
“JOY IS THE EFFECT WHICH COMES WHEN WE USE OUR POWERS. JOY…IS THE GOAL OF LIFE, FOR IT IS THE EMOTION WHICH ACCOMPANIES OUR FULFILLING OUR NATURES AS HUMAN BEINGS. IT IS BASED ON THE EXPERIENCE OF ONE’S IDENTITY AS BEING OF WORTH AND DIGNITY…” – Rollo May
BODY: Sciences and advances in medicine, being proactive
The one thing I knew very clearly was that that God didn’t want me to be passive. I am naturally a bit of a detective so I began educating myself on internal medicine, the science of fertility, and advances in reproductive technology. I did this so I could take more control, make informed decisions and also so that my prayers could be more specific. When I prayed, I asked God for specific answers i.e., choosing a doctor or a treatment.
It was the third fertility specialist that was finally able to help me. The first one took away my hope and was unprofessional. I reminded myself that doctors “practice” medicine. They aren’t perfect, and they aren’t fortune tellers. Find someone that you connect with!
CLICK HERE for more information on the medical side of my journey
Two powerful lessons I learned:
- DO NOT let any physician take away your hope. Hope is “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” You may be told that odds are not in your favor. But that does not mean that you cannot have hope!
- You have options when it comes to fertility specialists. Always get a second opinion. And if you don’t like what they say, see a third. I have several friends like me who saw more than three specialists before getting their miracle baby.
SPIRIT: Having blind faith and never giving up
My faith was always strong and intact. Don’t get me wrong, I had many angry conversations with God.
I prayed daily by myself, with girlfriends and with my husband. I was devastated and confused after each miscarriage – the praying sustained and grounded me. I knew that God would restore me and that he had a path for me, I just didn’t know what that looked like.
There is a difference between Faith and Religion. Faith is about what you personally believe. Faith is about having confidence in what you hope for even though you can’t see it.
Wherever you are or whatever your relationship is to faith, you can write your dreams, hopes, wishes and prayers in a Prayer Journal. There is something about seeing your prayers in writing, it makes them tangible. Writing in a journal especially when your emotions are so real is therapeutic.
A prayer box way to actively engage your faith and make your hopes tangible. It can be anything that is on your heart, for yourself or someone else. The Prayer Box is also a way of physically turning your worries over to God.
“Tonight I pray for wisdom. “
“Tonight I pray for which doctor to choose.”
“Tonight I pray for patience.”
It’s so helpful to relent and trust in God’s timing. Handing your worries over to God, helps you create the right vibration that help you will attract what you want.
This is not to say that God is going to help you break barriers because you are being passive and thinking, “God knows my intentions and knows my heart.”
Being passive is not the same as being patient or trusting. It’s quite the opposite. In today’s world where books, pizzas and groceries can all be instantly delivered, many of us don’t practice patience.
For more on faith, please CLICK HERE
“BE JOYFUL IN HOPE, PATIENT IN AFFLICTION, FAITHFUL IN PRAYER.” ROMANS 12:12
“LET US NOT BECOME WEARY IN DOING GOOD, FOR AT THE PROPER TIME WE WILL REAP A HARVEST IF WE DO NOT GIVE UP.” GALATIANS 6:9
SUMMING IT ALL UP
Although I can’t promise you that you will get pregnant or have twins, what I do know is that having a balance between all three of these components of Mind, Body and Spirit will help to set you up for the absolute best chance of success.
Remember – if you are truly open, it’s not a question of IF you will have a baby, but a question of HOW.
Will it be through IVF? A surprise normal pregnancy? Hiring a gestational carrier? An egg donor? Adoption?
Think outside the box. Pray for wisdom. Take action.
You are worthy! Spread your wings and fly.